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Monday, January 28, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
40 Lessons from 40 Years
If you are married and reading this or you hope to be married and are reading this, the stark reality is that you most likely will never make it to 40 years of marriage. My grandparents were married for 65 1/2 years. That is my bench mark. One of my goals in life is to raise the bar of marriage and even eclipse my grandparents years of marriage. I realize that I cannot do this alone.
In a given week, married couples are rarely encouraged in their marriage. Instead, a typical week is full of challenges and even threats to a thriving, Christ-centered marriage. This week Dennis Rainey has been sharing 40 lessons form his 40 years of marriage on FamilyLife Today. (http://www.familylife.com/) For the past 21 years of my married life, Dennis has been mentoring me on a weekly basis. I have attended the Weekend to Remember Conferences with my wife multiple times. (Shop FamilyLife - Cincinnati ) I have read his books. And most recently, I have listened to his podcasts on family. The reason: I need help. I am a broken man who needs instruction on how to be a better husband and father. And I desire to finish well as a father! I hope you too will enjoy.
In a given week, married couples are rarely encouraged in their marriage. Instead, a typical week is full of challenges and even threats to a thriving, Christ-centered marriage. This week Dennis Rainey has been sharing 40 lessons form his 40 years of marriage on FamilyLife Today. (http://www.familylife.com/) For the past 21 years of my married life, Dennis has been mentoring me on a weekly basis. I have attended the Weekend to Remember Conferences with my wife multiple times. (Shop FamilyLife - Cincinnati ) I have read his books. And most recently, I have listened to his podcasts on family. The reason: I need help. I am a broken man who needs instruction on how to be a better husband and father. And I desire to finish well as a father! I hope you too will enjoy.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
A Necessary Ending
This past summer I read Henry Cloud's book entitled Necessary Endings. And to be honest, this book had a profound impact on my life as I read it during my first ever sabbatical. One of the points that Cloud makes is the idea that endings need to be seen as a more normal part of life and not as a problem. For 16 years I have directed CRU at Miami with Jane Armstrong. These past 16 years have literally changed my life. I have learned the importance of creating an environment for others to thrive. I have learned the supreme importance of my abiding relationship with Jesus. I have learned how to say I am sorry and ask for forgiveness. I have literally cried so hard I could cry no more and laughed so hard that I cried. I have learned that leadership is really not about me. Leadership is about Jesus and about empowering others. I have seen lives literally changed for all of eternity. I have had the privilege of serving some of the most gifted college students on the planet. And for all of this I am eternally grateful.
I never thought that my time as director would end but as of this January 2013 I am no longer leading with Jane Armstrong. Instead, I humbly submit to my new director Ryan Elliot. Ryan has been at Miami for almost 5 years and I think he will do an awesome job leading with Jane.
I wanted to take a moment to explain why I have decided by faith to step down. First, I have stepped down voluntarily. There was no major sin in my life that has disqualified me. Second, the timing is right. Ryan Elliot has been under my leadership and Jane's leadership and is ready to lead. If he did not lead at Miami he would lead somewhere else. Ryan's heart for the World is really what our movement needs. The movement is in a great place. The staff and student leaders are doing well and are in a good place to keep the movement on the right track. In fact, I am expecting things to go even better now that I have stepped down. I have been praying, thinking, and looking for the man who would take my job over the past several years. Third, I want to give the next director the privilege of being changed like I have been changed. I have always looked at directing as a sanctifying role. I never wanted to be selfish with this role. I also never wanted to hang on for dear life. I wanted to be willing to step down willingly and gracefully. Fourth, I have seen a passion ignite in my soul that I want to pursue while on staff with CRU. For the past 4 years I have been leading a father son retreat here at Miami. I am convinced that the hope of our nation rests on the Gospel lived out in the father son relationship. The last verse in the Old Testament says, " And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction." Malachi 4:6 After this verse, there is 400 years of silence. In Matthew 3:17 at the baptism of Jesus, "and behold, a voice from the heaven said, 'This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased." The bookends of silence are centered around the father son relationship. This is a critical relationship that needs to be restored. As a result, I desire to begin a PHD program the fall of 2013 to study the issues surrounding fathers and sons. Specifically, I desire to learn about what young men in college need to develop in relationship to their fathers that will help them be engaged in ministry for a lifetime. There is no way that I could follow this passion and direct at Miami at the same time. I just am not that gifted. In order to start this new direction, I have had to have a necessary ending.
What will this look like? I will still be on staff with CRU on the Miami team. I will come to staff meetings and be on campus developing and coaching staff and students. In addition, I am going to help Grant Scott coach some directors in our four state region. The PHD program that I am pursuing is a modular PHD program. This means that I will be at the school 2 times a year for 7-10 days. The program is a 4 year program. I am not looking at this as a stepping stone to leave staff. Instead, I am looking at this as an opportunity to study an issue that has become a passion. I want to help our staff learn how to more effectively disciple young men. This is especially going to be true because 40% of boys in our country are growing up without a father.
One of my greatest passions in life is to finish well. I long for this more then ever. Clinton, in his article "The Life Cycle of A Leader" argues that having a sense of destiny is one of the contributing factors that help leaders finish well. As I reflect on this new chapter of my life, I am more motivated and excited than ever. I feel like this is my destiny!
I never thought that my time as director would end but as of this January 2013 I am no longer leading with Jane Armstrong. Instead, I humbly submit to my new director Ryan Elliot. Ryan has been at Miami for almost 5 years and I think he will do an awesome job leading with Jane.
I wanted to take a moment to explain why I have decided by faith to step down. First, I have stepped down voluntarily. There was no major sin in my life that has disqualified me. Second, the timing is right. Ryan Elliot has been under my leadership and Jane's leadership and is ready to lead. If he did not lead at Miami he would lead somewhere else. Ryan's heart for the World is really what our movement needs. The movement is in a great place. The staff and student leaders are doing well and are in a good place to keep the movement on the right track. In fact, I am expecting things to go even better now that I have stepped down. I have been praying, thinking, and looking for the man who would take my job over the past several years. Third, I want to give the next director the privilege of being changed like I have been changed. I have always looked at directing as a sanctifying role. I never wanted to be selfish with this role. I also never wanted to hang on for dear life. I wanted to be willing to step down willingly and gracefully. Fourth, I have seen a passion ignite in my soul that I want to pursue while on staff with CRU. For the past 4 years I have been leading a father son retreat here at Miami. I am convinced that the hope of our nation rests on the Gospel lived out in the father son relationship. The last verse in the Old Testament says, " And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction." Malachi 4:6 After this verse, there is 400 years of silence. In Matthew 3:17 at the baptism of Jesus, "and behold, a voice from the heaven said, 'This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased." The bookends of silence are centered around the father son relationship. This is a critical relationship that needs to be restored. As a result, I desire to begin a PHD program the fall of 2013 to study the issues surrounding fathers and sons. Specifically, I desire to learn about what young men in college need to develop in relationship to their fathers that will help them be engaged in ministry for a lifetime. There is no way that I could follow this passion and direct at Miami at the same time. I just am not that gifted. In order to start this new direction, I have had to have a necessary ending.
What will this look like? I will still be on staff with CRU on the Miami team. I will come to staff meetings and be on campus developing and coaching staff and students. In addition, I am going to help Grant Scott coach some directors in our four state region. The PHD program that I am pursuing is a modular PHD program. This means that I will be at the school 2 times a year for 7-10 days. The program is a 4 year program. I am not looking at this as a stepping stone to leave staff. Instead, I am looking at this as an opportunity to study an issue that has become a passion. I want to help our staff learn how to more effectively disciple young men. This is especially going to be true because 40% of boys in our country are growing up without a father.
One of my greatest passions in life is to finish well. I long for this more then ever. Clinton, in his article "The Life Cycle of A Leader" argues that having a sense of destiny is one of the contributing factors that help leaders finish well. As I reflect on this new chapter of my life, I am more motivated and excited than ever. I feel like this is my destiny!
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